Hemorrhoids are a very literal pain in the ass and are especially prevalent during pregnancy. The hormone progesterone causes the walls of your veins to relax, the increasing weight of your uterus puts pressure on your veins, pregnancy constipation makes you strain, and voila! — hemorrhoids are born. You might notice them as an itching feeling when you use the bathroom, or you can experience them as pain and spotting blood.

a butt sitting on a cactus to illustrate the pain of hemorrhoids


Hemorrhoid Prevention

A good fiber-rich diet and good hydration will help your bowels move and prevent the constipation that leads to hemorrhoids. For pain relief when they do occur, there are some at home remedies you can try.  Medicated Tucks pads worn in your underwear work like a charm, or you can make your own version by applying witch hazel to maxi pads or cotton rounds and putting them in the freezer. Simply take out and wear as usual for a lovely cooling sensation.

Sometimes, despite best prevention efforts, hemorrhoids will still just happen. So then what?

Hemorrhoid Pain Relief When You Go Number Two

The most pressing need for relief tends to come when it’s time to poop. You’ll want to gear up beforehand and keep a kit beside the toilet. You might include witch hazel wipes to soothe and to avoid rubbing with dry toilet paper, or a peri  bottle of warm water to rinse instead if wiping is still too sore. You may even include a water-based lubricant to apply in your bottom beforehand to minimize the need to push too hard.

Afterward, you can take a sitz bath with just a few inches of warm water (try adding some baking soda for extra comfort) and sit back for 15 minutes or so. Pat dry gently.



Other Hemorrhoid Remedies

A paste made of baking soda and witch hazel (or water) can also be applied to the area, or you may shake some baking soda into your underwear. Some doctors will also approve traditional over the counter medications like Preparation H.

If you’re really hurting, your doctor may offer you a numbing spray such as a Lidocaine solution or Proctofoam to cut the discomfort. And while remarkably less pleasant, suppositories are another option. They may be a bitch to get in, but are often worth it in the long run.


Wishing you good luck, a clear ass, and pain-free pooping. Isn’t pregnancy fun??

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